CRASHING DOWN ON ME

just when things begin to turn out beautifully fine...

something alien came in and broke every piece of perfection..
they came crashing down..
too fast and too much for me to handle, sometimes..
i guess which is why they say nothing is perfect, and nothing lasts...

just when things become better and life becomes easier, all of that are just taken away right in front of my eyes.

i can take the easy way out..but i don't want to be that cowardly person who runs away from truths..

so right here at this moment...i just pray and hope that i will have the strength to carry on walking, the power to see further in life, and the sense to really think and ponder before i make my next step.

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an image i saw today made me wonder about life.

we live to die, and we die after we have lived... irregardless of whether it was a fulfilling one or not. we cannot predict when will our time come..which makes life so unpredictable.

how do you know if you have lead a fulfilling life? and how do you know if you have not? is it even measurable? maybe in our own terms..but not when comparing to everyone else's lives.

i have seen countless people i met in my life comparing their fortune, their prized possessions..some get upset and decided to join the race in seeing who owns more than the other. but honestly, what is the point in comparing? does having more than the other half of the population in the world means you have a fulfilling life?

i just feel that we make our own judgment, on whether our life is meaningful or not.. no one can tell me that i have wasted my life doing the things i love...because in my eyes, i have dedicated my time and efforts in building a strong feeling towards these interests of mine.

when i was 14, a kitten saved me countless times from horrible lectures from my parents. it loved me like a friend. it sat beside me when i needed to speak to someone. it showed me that the best of friends can come in any form, not just human. it made me understood the importance of family... and that being members of a family, you do not let each other down nor give up on each other..i loved him like my own brother..like my own baby..like myself.

i saved its life once... and in its lifetime, it saved me more than a hundred times.

meeting it was part of the biggest fulfillment of my life. having raised it, fed it and even grew up with it... i can never forget that 5 years of my life when it was around. i can still remember how i cried everyday for almost a week when it left us. i still cry when i miss it and think of it.

it was a wonderful friend. the best i could ever asked for.. but despite being so nice and so full of love, it died in the most terrible and suffering way. i never understood why its life was taken away in such cruelty... i tried my best to make its last one year as comfortable as i could, but it was hard because i wasn't around at home anymore. when my best friend died, i wasn't even around. all i heard was it grew so weak that it could barely walk more than 5 steps. and one night, it just disappeared and never came back.